Prim and proper, stylish and presentable–no one should go out looking like a hobo, right? As time passes, more men seem addicted to body grooming, something that in the past was seen as unmanly. More often however, a well groomed man is what women are looking for. So the question posed in Mansome is; what does it mean to be a man?

Morgan Spurlock and friends take the audience through a quick history of certain styles and fads in men’s grooming as one special subject it highlighted to represent the image of said styles, today. Each segment is introduced by a witty exchange between producers Jason Bateman and Will Arnett as they move through treatments at a day spa. Featuring segments focused on Moustaches, Beards, Body Hair, Testicular Sweat Products, and the full body works, no stone is left unturned–well, knocked about at least.

Admittedly, I always get a little nervous walking into a movie that Morgan Spurlock’s attached to. He often finds a way to make the entire movie about him. Luckily, only the first segment of Mansome suffers from Spurlock-itis. On the other hand, Mansome seems to fail at actually defining anything it seems to be researching. There’s plenty of time spent showing us what people may think about a Moustache, or how touchy a national beard champion is about his prideful mane. On the other hand, there’s little time spent getting to the real root of the question. In a documentary full of opposing opinions about what women want in their men, and how men feel about themselves–nothing based on pure, irrefutable fact is presented.

The media and the companies who make money from grooming products and services are completely let off the hook. The thought process may have been, “that’s a whole other movie that’s been made, I just want to know what men think of themselves.” Even then, the effects of the media on women’s perceptions of beauty are a perpetual hot button issue, and you’re telling me it shouldn’t apply here? Mansome should have taken the hint from Chris Rock’s, Good Hair to realize you can been fun and aloof, while still digging for the truth.

Don’t get me wrong; on a certain level Mansome is fun. The Bateman/Arnett quibbles are a treasure, and every word that comes out of Zach Galifianakis’ mouth is comic gold. It’s fascinating to watch the mind boggling world views of a man who treats his beard like a God and another man who gave up his entire culture to fit in. All of this is interesting, but it answers nothing. Mansome went in for the full treatment–Waxing, Chemical Peel, a Mani, and a Pedi, only to leave with a quick haircut.

Rating: 2 and a half out of 5 ‘Staches

Unless you’re imbued with the spirit of Robert Altman or you’re Paul Thomas Anderson–stop making star packed, multi-story films. Gary Marshall already has the market cornered with the painful, comic versions that make tons of money– let him handle it for now. What to Expect When You’re Expecting attempts to change the rules a bit by employing funny comics, but crashes and burns in a mangled mess of poor storylines and pathetic execution.

Three expectant mothers–no wait, it’s four. Four expecting mothers–hold on, technically it’s five I guess, right? Normally, this paragraph is designated for my short synopsis of a film. The issue here is, it’s impossible to condense the faulty timeline of What to Expect When You’re Expecting into anything but a single line. A group of expectant mothers and fathers deal with the difficulties of pregnancy, hooray!

Simply put, this script is too ambitious for its own good. In attempting to present a full story of every possible pregnancy situation known to man, What to Expect When You’re Expecting dooms itself before a production logo can even hit the screen. Characters are left unattended to for such long periods, and by the time they come back on screen you’ve forgotten they exist. Typically in a movie like this, there’s a flow. Start with story 1, then go to story 2, next story 3; repeat. Instead we get, Story 1, story 2, story 5, story 1, story 3; choose your own adventure.

Having to portray a nine month span for so many couples in a two hour movie is one hell of an undertaking. I enjoy when movies don’t have to pander to people by throwing up text blocks letting everyone know what month of the pregnancy they’re in, but this is one instance that sorely needed those reminders. As time jumps, it felt like every story was supposed to succeed the previous one day to day. Yet, one night it goes from snow, to torrential rains, to the next morning being 80 degrees and sunny.

Caught in the in-proportionate story swaps, Cameron Diaz’s character seems to be in labor for about two weeks. In the Jennifer Lopez world, she and her husband are adopting and are told their wait is about one year. Suddenly, they get the news things are happening sooner, though there is no indication as to how fast things changed. Was it a few weeks, a month, two months, eight? The rocky and highly underdeveloped relationship of the films youngest couple might be the most confusing thing overall. There’s just not enough time allowed to develop any of the stories properly, and they all go limp.

I’m not going to say I didn’t laugh here or there, it’s hard for any movie to fail at making at least one punch line work. If you put my laughs on a scale weighed against the pain this movie caused me, you’ll find the few laughs pales in comparison. You can’t save a sinking movie by throwing Chris Rock, Rob Huebel, and every minor character from Bridesmaids into the mix. C’est la vie!

Rating: 1 and a half out of 5 ‘Staches

I’ve never sat down and thought, “I wonder who invented the vibrator?” If I had, the image of Victorian era Britain would not have popped into my head. Beyond the deeper journey Hysteria takes its audience through, the actual origin story (whether it’s embellished or not) is so fascinatingly interesting you can’t turn away.  The fact it’s uproariously funny helps.

In a world filled with disease and plague, Dr. Mortimer Granville is shocked  the medical world isn’t catching up with modern methods. Cleanliness, antibiotics, and other current forms of treatment are seen as hogwash–leaches are still a preferred method of treatment. Granville’s desire to actually do good, keeps him from holding a job due to the prehistoric minds of his bosses. When he meets Dr. Robert Dalrymple, things change. Dalrymple treats women who suffer from the apparent dangerous and freakishly out-broken disease called, Hysteria. The only doctor paying proper attention to this disorder, Darlymple is jam packed with patients he can hardly attend to– giving them weekly (sometimes daily) treatments of a very special, “pelvic massage.”

Seeing an opportunity to do something important, Granville accepts a job as Dalrymple’s assistant and begins treating an overwhelming patient base. Eventually, Granville develops a serious case of carpel tunnel from his vigorous schedule. Unable to perform his only procedure anymore, it looks like he’s out of the job again. When visiting his insanely rich friend, Edmund St. John-Smythe (who has a massive interest in this fabulous new thing called, electricity), the two stumble across an inventive way to perform the one service that cures women of Hysteria, and nothing will ever be the same.

Wrapped up in a ball of charm and comedy, Hysteria brings to light more than just the quirky story of how the vibrator came to be. Granville has an attraction to both of Darymple’s daughters. One is the petite and pretty miss do-good (prude in her ways) and the other is more like Granville; someone who wants to help people in need and does not want to conform to the establishment’s idea of what she should be (the free spirited one). Hysteria uses their relationships to examine the idea of growth in a culture, by focusing on the way we once (and some people sadly still do) believed a woman’s role should be and how they should act. Hysteria was nothing more than women acting out on urges they were not supposed to explore.

There’s loads of interesting stories out there that explain how items we use every day, came to be. Many have been made and some are still itching to come to light. On a spectrum of all the inventions that could have movies made about them, the vibrator was probably the last I thought I would see–but it’s strikingly ahead of the pack of ones I’ve enjoyed.

Rating: 3 out of 5 ‘Staches

Everyone and their mother scratched their heads when it was announced that a movie was being made based on the game, Battleship. The revelation that the antagonists were aliens was met with similar perplexity. Battleship certainly is as ridiculously moronic as everyone expected, however the aliens are the one thing they did right.

Alex Hopper is a lost cause. Living on his brother’s couch, he has no job and no ambitions other than chasing women. When his recent attempt to woo a girl ends in an arrest, Hopper is forced by his brother to join the Navy in hopes it will put him on the right track. Years later, during the Navy’s RIMPAC meeting (a multinational Navy games and exercises event), the Earth is visited by some not-so-friendly foes who are “responding” to a deep space message, recently sent out. The aliens land in the exact spot the message was sent from, which happens to be the exact spot of the RIMPAC games. Shooting from the hip, it’s all up to Alex Hopper to save the world.

A colossal blunder of epic proportions, Battleship has one of the shakiest scripts in recent history. There are so many issues with the characters and story, it’s hard to find a place to start. Hopper is meant to be the fuck-up turned hero, yet even when he does the right thing, he’s still the same pathetic loser he was at the beginning. His growth is superficial, his character is weak and pathetic. There’s no way he would be allowed as many chances as he got from his love interest, his brother, and the Navy. But somehow, the movie persists.

Every moment of Battleship is an odd contradiction. The invading forces seem only to attack when attacked. They have a nifty terminator-like interface that shows you how they determine whether something is a threat or not. So when one of their destructive chain-ball weapons is face to face with a little kid, it determines the child is not a threat and leaves him alone. It then proceeds to take out the supporting beams of a massive highway–effectively killing more people and kids that we were just shown to be on that highway. I understand it’s supposed to be a military tactic–taking out roadways, making it hard for people to maneuver around. Did the aliens forget they were on an island that they already isolated with a massive force field? No other military force was dispatched, was all of this necessary?

For such a technologically and seemingly tactically aware culture, these space marauders seem to be severely lacking in the brain department. When the movie actually rolls out the classic Battlefield grid (laughably so) it’s because in the dark of night, both sides can’t see each other. These freaking things have visors that judge a person’s threat level based on their heart rate and pupil dilation, but they can’t see in the dark? There’s a whole sub-plot that the aliens are adverse to sunlight, don’t tell me they can’t see in the dark.

With an abundance of laugh inducing moments, it’s the design of these distant visitors that works. Not their weird hovering ships and their peg like missiles–the actual, walking on two legs suited and unsuited villains. Yes, their actions and methods are flawed beyond belief, but the look and feel they give off as they stroll around our world is eerily impressive. They emit a vibe of slick bad-assery that can’t be denied. It’s an aura that would have been better suited for a truly dark, sci-fi adventure–not a corny Michael Bay-esque action film. They’re the only thing worth your time in Battleship, and you can wait till they hit HBO to experience the full effect.

Rating: 1 and a half out of 5 ‘Staches

Sacha Baron Cohen is the king of putting people in uncomfortable situations–uncovering their true natures. American audiences are most familiar with Borat and Bruno, while others will also remember Da Ali G Show–where all three characters had their moments in the sun. Don’t be fooled though, this is not Cohen’s first purely fictitious comedy. There was an Ali G movie (Ali G in Da House) that didn’t translate too well in the States. While The Dictator is leaps and bounds better than Ali G in Da House, it’s far from perfect.

Supreme leader of the Republic of Wadiya, Admiral General Aladeen wants two things out of life-to be loved and death to the west. He’s close to having a nuclear missile ready for launch by the time he is due in New York to address the UN Council. With the number of attempts to assassinate the Admiral General growing by the day, the amount of security surrounding Aladeen while in NY is astounding. Still, someone gets to him and commits an unspeakable act–he removes Aladeen’s beard! Miraculously escaping, Aladeen finds his body double is being used to bring Democracy to Wadiya. Unrecognizable without his beard, Aladeen sets out on a crazy NY adventure to reclaim his leadership and save Dictatorships all over the world.

Enough of the jokes that fill the first half of The Dictator are cute and outrageous, though slightly stale. If you’re familiar with Cohen’s humor, nothing comes as a surprise. A few treats are sprinkled here and there (his “wall of fame” and his special Wii game- truly deliver), but nothing propels the laughs forward. The film picks up in the uproarious hilarity context as the story begins to wrap up. From what I dub, the birthing scene-through the very end, doesn’t disappoint. At this point though, the film is almost over and it’s not enough to deem The Dictator an unrelenting success.

This is still an enjoyable film, though. Numerous cameos lead to smiles and head shakes and the film’s conclusion is a glorious stab at all politics of today. Yes, just as all his previous films have been round about ways of pointing out the hypocrisies in society today–The Dictator does the same. Making fun of the outlandish leaders we watch on CNN is just one part of this movie. The rest is something that will hit much closer to home, so be prepared.

The Dictator is a disappointment in ways. That’s what you’ll get if you sit down expecting a wall to wall laugh riot of unfathomable proportions. Still, even as a disappointment, it’s a cute little ride with a knife point finale. Perfect it’s not, good enough it is.

Rating: 3 out of 5 ‘Staches

Maybe you thought it was too corny, too weird, and maybe even too scary. Maybe you were never aware it existed. Not matter if you were a fan or not, it’s undeniable; Dark Shadows was a pioneering strike of television genius. A supernatural daytime soap from the late 60s, Dark Shadows paved the way for many popular odd ball shows through the years. Finally making its way to the big screen, Dark Shadows is luckily not the full-on Addams Family comedy romp the adverts portray–but it’s still stuck in the mud.

As a young boy, Barnabas Collins and his parents leave England to start a new life in America. Settling in Maine, their fishing business becomes so large the entire town is named after them. They even build a huge mansion to commemorate their wealth and prosperity. When Barnabas spurns the heart of a young chambermaid, he gets more than he expects as retaliation. The young lady just happens to be a witch. After killing his parents and all loved ones, the young chambermaid still thinks Barnabas has not suffered enough.

With her magic, she turns him into a vampire and has him buried alive by the town’s people, never to be seen again. 200 years later however, Barnabas is accidentally unearthed. Finding a set of his now distant relatives living in the mansion, he intends to bring the Collins name back to its original glory, before the witch ruined it all.

This updated attempt of resurfaced nostalgia is plainly lost in itself. From the credit sequence, watching a train whiz along set to Nights in White Satin to the Alice Cooper cameo, Dark Shadows takes every opportunity to wave to the audience yelling, ‘Hey everyone, it’s the 1970s, please don’t forget.” Moving from one nostalgic echo of a 60s soap opera to another cheesy representation of the 70s, the film never clasps onto anything worthwhile. Sure, it tries really hard to be a movie about heart, love, endurance, and compassion. Really though, it’s a movie of quiet chuckles with a creepier toned ending.

With an over abundance of unnecessary character plots, it’s obvious the writers tried to shove five seasons worth of a normal show’s story lines into a single two hour movie. Characters are left unseen for whole acts and the combined story is a convoluted mess. The majority of time was spent concocting jokes about a “man” from the 1700s reacting to the strange world of the 1900s–My God, that has never been done before! Even if some of the jokes were well played and funny, the practice is not only so tired and worn out, but it takes away from the ability to make a properly cohesive story. Instead, they jam pack the rest of the film with mind numbing twists that bare no weight to anything.

All of the world’s popular film makers have a distinct style, you can’t deny it. Yet, most of them do try and branch out–try new things. I’ll be amazed the day Tim Burton makes a film that consists of even one character with a normal skin tone and its feet somewhat on the ground. Till then, he seems to be doomed to making films that tread the same water and leave me shrugging my shoulders as I leave the theater.

Rating: 2 out of 5 ‘Staches

Words by Matthew Schuchman Photos by Jared Levy

Standing atop  a rug featuring figures in different sexual positions, on a stage adorned with paintings of himself, surrounded by scantily uniformed women holding assault rifles; Supreme Leader, Admiral General Aladeen, the Dictator of the nation of Wadiya took to the podium to address the “Zionist, New York media.” Entering the Empire Ballroom at the Waldorf Astoria, Aladeen was drowned in the sound of his many supporters chanting his name.

The Admiral General was in town to discuss a terrible plight burdening him and the world, the demise of Dictators. “For years, leaders all over the world have fallen one by one; Sadam, Kim Jong-Il, Gadhafi, and Oprah. Sanctions are hindering us, Ahmadinejad can’t even afford a tie.” Aladeen did not waste much time on his plea to support Dictators before opening the floor to questions.

Below is a short video of some of the afternoon’s highlights, but not everything was offered up to you, the general public. Not shown are the breaks between questions where at the raise of his arm, Aladeen’s supporters would again chant the Dictator’s name.  Missing is Aladeen’s admission to loving fantasy films,  “…like Lord of the Rings and Schindler’s List.” Also not making the cut was Aladeen’s thoughts on who he would vote for in the upcoming U.S. election if he had a vote, “Well, I would have said Santorum, despite his liberal views…”  For those not in the know, it was also revealed that Mel Gibson has been appointed the director of Wadyia’s museum of intolerance, congratulations Mel.

The most outrageous moment of the press conference though came when Ryan Seacrest’s colleague from E! asked why Aladeen dumped Kim Jong-Il‘s ashes on Seacrest. Before explaining that the ashes were not really those of Kim Jong-Il, Aladeen offered up a hilarious quip, “Well, that was not the first time he has had an Asian man poured all over his chest.”

Enjoy the video below and the pictures we captured from the event.  Keep an eye open this weekend for The ‘Staches review of The Dictator.

Four years and five previous films in the making, The Avengers has finally arrived. There’s no question that enthusiasts will adore and applaud the Joss Whedon scripted/directed super-hero bonanza.  Certainly entertaining, the entire experience still feels a little shaky at times for the comic book novice.

While the world is suffering from its usual foibles and political debates, everything is pretty normal on Earth. That is until Loki, the brother of Thor sticks his thin, Michael Fassbender-ish face into things. Under the guise that he will be allowed to rule over an army of extraterrestrial warriors once the Earth is conquered, Loki heads to our planet to obtain an item called, “The Tesseract”. A small cube of pure energy that was at the center of the Captain America movie, The Tesseract can be used to open a wormhole, allowing a massive army to storm into our world. While the heads of state want S.H.I.E.L.D. operator Nick Fury to put a plan codenamed “Phase Two” into effect to stop Loki, Fury has other ideas. If he can convince the members of his planned Avengers Initiative to assemble, he’s positive they can stop Loki and save the Earth.

It’s fairly impressive how this story was able to incorporate bits and pieces from all the previous films into one large festering ball of comic book glory. While anyone who has missed one or two of the original entries (or all of them for that matter) won’t be completely lost, those who were in from step one will be treated with small hints and teases that blast out from all directions. With so much story development made in those other films, they have more time to joke around and play a game called, “what cool things can I make this character do that the audience has never seen before.” Though, for a film that laid its groundwork in the past, it’s still bogged down by ass numbing lengths of story development that are unnecessary.

Just like the Whedon scripted, The Cabin in the Woods, The Avengers is one long bicker-fest that helps build up to one raucously entertaining finale. The opening two thirds of the film are just another excuse to bathe fans in the opportunity to watch their favorite characters fight each other, while it eats up screen time and allows for one-liners. By the time the entire team is steeped in a childish episode of, “let’s throw each other under the bus,” my patience was starting to wear thin.

It’s seems pointless to focus on the tiniest insignificant holes, as their circumstances have nothing to do with the entire outcome or why people go to see a movie about The Avengers — but I am. When Loki took to terrorizing 500 or so Germans, I had to wonder, “Why does he suspect they all speak English?” Then of course, Bruce Banner loses control and turns into the Hulk, attacking his friends and teammates because he can’t control the beast. Yet, when it’s time for everyone to be friends and fight the final battle, he’s in control and recognizes his companions. I know the character has a cognitive presence in his comic book origins, but the execution and explanation in the film itself, is non-existent.

I know this is a case where I’m getting too critical for the product at hand. If nothing else, The Avengers finally brings to life what we all want from characters like the Hulk. The dichotomy of comic book heroes is great, as it’s what their stories are truly about; but deep down we don’t want to see Bruce Banner fight his inner demon while being chased by military outfits and his crying girlfriend! We want to see the Hulk smash! No one can deny the pure joy of watching him jump around and decimating other worldly creatures–it will bring out the kid in everyone.

There are very few movies that are flawless. The Dark Knight (which is seen by many as the king of comic book films) has its issues too. However, The Dark Knight is the kind of film that draws you in completely, so much so that biggest holes don’t appear until you’ve had multiple viewings. The Avengers’ patchwork is exposed from start to finish, but overcomes most of it with a balls to the wall ending. Comic book fans and those holding onto their midnight tickets are in for a five ‘stache adventure–but for those like me, you’re just in for a good romp at the movies.

Rating: 3 and a half out of 5 ‘Staches

Fairhaven- Follow a group of whiny friends reconnect after the loose cannon of three returns for the funeral of his estranged father. A cast of characters who never lived up to their dreams come to shockingly obvious cathartic closures in a few short days, topped off with the numerous re-tellings of Mike Wallace’s interview with Tom Brady. Mentally draining and unsatisfying

Free Samples- A whiny, semi-alcoholic unknowingly receives life lessons while doling out free ice cream samples. There is no way this character would ever have friends, let alone would they be approached by their younger and older forms loaded with perfect advice. The film makers trot out Tippi Hedron in an attempt at credibility which backfires. Jessie Eisenberg also appears, doing nothing to make me care. Physically draining and painful

Revenge for Jolly!- The awkward, whiny son of Cripsin Glover’s clone goes on a killing spree trying to find the guy who killed his dog–when he should have just killed the people who he knew were after him for bungling a job. Doesn’t know how to ride the line between serious and absurd, it’s more a showcase to prop up all the pointless cameos as they are killed off in Police Squad fashion. With a good ten minutes devoted to watching the two protagonists getting drunk and eat Mexican food, your time would be better spent, getting drunk and eating Mexican food. Unfunny and pointless.

Struck by Lightning-A whiny, know-it-all teen recants his sad story from the grave after he is struck by lightning. A film filled with characters you loathe, my already morose mind exploded when the supposedly genius lead claimed Columbus set out to discover America. Another– angry teen learns their lesson too late comedy with no soul and a laundry list of clichés (pun intended) bore-fest. It gets a small amount of points for its Ken Marino cameo, next to that, it falls flat. Angering and not worth the time.

What was it like when you first met Bernie?

Well, it was a relief to see that he was in fact a sweet heart—as it had been written in our script. It felt like it was reinforcing out theory of what he would be like. It was very surreal; I had never been in a maximum security prison, which was pretty intimidating. Lots of hardened criminals in there doing hard time, for hard crime. Then there was Bernie, who is just this big, sweet, soft, gentle mammoth of a man. Yeah, he really didn’t fit in with the general population in there, to say the least. It was good to connect with him and talk with him, listen to his accent and his behavior, ask him a few things.

Did you find yourself channeling him on set?

No…well a little bit. I don’t like loose track of time and all of a sudden become like, “Where was I? What time is it?” You know, like someone who sinks so deep into their character that the real Jack Black disappears. I’m not like that.

It does seem though that the real Jack Black is looking to burst out of the seams. How do you contain the real Jack Black?

Maybe that is the real Jack Black. Maybe all those other times I was forcing a big clown show. The real Jack Black is like Sean Penn, you ever think about that?

What about the moustache, that’s not the real Jack Black?

The ‘stache is my secret weapon. Whenever I bring out the ‘stache, the most powerful performances come to life—I don’t know if  you saw Nacho Libre. The ‘stache is like a super power when I grow it.

Can you talk about creating your walk? I personally fell that there is a metaphorical significance behind it.

Haha, really?

Well you have the one are that is very straight and stiff, while the other flairs out to the side.

Yeah, I don’t know what that was about. That really did just come to me. Really only a couple of times do you get to see the walk, in the movie. I don’t know, I can’t really speak to the walk.

At the beginning of the movie you are just driving along singing a song, and you’re so happy and joyous. Was that something where Richard [Linklater] said, “let’s just drive around and you do what you want?”

It’s a great song. It’s got a great bounce to it and it was fun to sing along to. It was important to Rick (director Richard Linklater) that I know every lyric. I was like, “Really? Can’t I just come in and out…” He’d say, “No, he would know every lyric, Bernie would know it all.” So I really studied it hard. I don’t remember lyrics very well. I’m not one of those people who remember lyrics or jokes.

Even your own?

Even my own– I’m in the middle of trying to remember the entire new album. But yeah, being able to see that part of Texas, and see those types of particular pine trees, just to see how enthused he is at the beginning of the movie, begin part of the community. It kind of tells the story of who he was, before the movie even starts.

How do you see Bernie? Do you see him as someone who had this planned or that it was all just an unfortunate circumstance?

I think it’s more the latter. Bernie is a guy who is a real pleaser. He liked people to love him, to a fault. To a degree where it was– maybe it was better to leave her and let her hate you, than it is to stay and let things go as badly as they obviously did.

What was it like working with Shirley MacLaine?

Shirley MacLaine is a hero of mine. I was always a huge fan of her, her performances going all the way back to The Apartment. It’s rare that someone can be that beautiful and that talented; her performance is so good. There was no one hotter than her, back in the day. Hands down, she’s the most talented and hot, it’s a powerful combination. So it was a thrill to work with her, she’s like a Jack Nicholson level of awesomeness. But she put me at ease early on. She would laugh at all my dumb jokes and make me feel like I was worthy.

Did you find yourself trying extra hard around her?

Definitely–We kind of fell into the roles of the movie. I kind of became her Bernie to her Marjorie. I took care of her needs. Made sure she was always comfortable and attended to, if she needed something cool to drink. I never gave her a foot massage or anything, it never went that far, but a little hint of that relationship was happening.

Did you study gay friends of yours to create Bernie?

I never really though about it like that, no. It was in the back of my mind, but he was not, flamboyantly out of the closet. He never said that he was gay and in that community, there aren’t a lot of flamboyant out of the closet gay people. In East Texas, you keep it well hid, and that was definitely part of his character. I tried to keep it subtle.

So you didn’t ask him when you met with him?

No, I didn’t feel like it was any of my business. I probably should have asked more questions in general, but I’m sort of a shy guy. I don’t like to probe.

How else did you prepare, beyond meeting with him?

I got to see a lot of video tapes of him, because he was a public figure and there were great videos of him conducting ceremonies and leading the congregation in singing songs. So I studied those a lot for the accent and for behavior.

You keep referring to him as a character, do you consider him more a part than a person?

I was always aware that he was a real person. There’s a lot of pressure when you’re playing someone that is real and alive. They can see it and judge it—although, they’re not going to let us play the movie for him in prison, which I’m bummed about. I wanted him to see it and see what he thought about it.

Why won’t they let you?

Don’t know. They told Rick, that it was not going to happen.

What’s the most challenging aspect to playing a real person?

Just the pressure in the back of your mind, wanting to get it right. If it was a made up part, I wouldn’t feel bad about acting like an ass at times. I don’t want it to be a smear in anyway, I want it to be accurate.

Did you talk to any of the actual town’s people before hand, or you wanted to keep those views out of mind when preparing?

Well there are actually town’s people in the movie, so I was able to interact with them, but I didn’t actively seek out friends and family of Bernie to talk about this.

Did you do any research into being a devout Christian?

Well I studied the songs obviously. I did not do any bible study, but I felt like I was familiar enough with that to play someone who is really into Jesus. Sorry to say, there was not a lot of time spent, in the church.

What actually attracted you to the part?

Well it spoke to me. When I read the script I could hear his voice and I saw a way to play it in an interesting way and the story itself is compelling. You have this guy who’s the most loved guy in the town, that is the least likely to commit a murder, and then after that he puts the body in a freezer for nine months. There are so many question marks that make it interesting.

Do you think Bernie wanted to get caught?

I think he was relieved when he got caught, for sure, But he was afraid of everybody hating him, and the huge shit storm that was about to hit his life. So I’m sure he was conflicted with that.

Do you believe he had any devious intentions, even if it was just for the money?

I don’t think so, but I do think that money, the corrosive and corrupting power of money was involved. On the one hand, he wanted her to love him. So he didn’t want to leave her and risk her being angry. In addition to that, he did come accustomed to the money and he did like having money—mostly to give to other people. He enjoyed going on trips with her, but mostly he just liked giving it all away and seeing the effect it had on other people. So it was seductive, it kept him there with her, but I don’t think it was devious, he didn’t have plans to get all her money.

Were you allowed any input as the movie was being made?

We had some collaboration in the rehearsal process. While we were making the movie I would express concerns about certain elements. I would ask if we were building it up enough, where she is mean enough. Should we add a scene where she is being more oppressive? Of course, he said no, he thought it was fine. He had written the script years before I came on board, I wasn’t involved in that part of it.

Knowing Bernie, knowing the outcome and all the aspects of the story, if you were one of the town’s people at the time it all happened, would you have been one of the ones that said he wasn’t guilty?

No, he’s guilty. He deserves to do time, the question is does he deserve to do as much time as someone who was caught, calculating the whole thing. There are people out there who I think do less time, who are much worse offenders. I don’t think he is a danger to society, he could come out and no one would have to worry about the cold blooded killer, Bernie Tiede.

How much time did you spend with Bernie?

A couple of hours. We walked around the prison with him and he showed us his work shop. They gave us a lot of leeway because of the Hollywood Jack aspect. We got to go to his cell and meet some of his friends and then we got a room where we could talk for about 45 minutes.

Now that you’re a dad, does it effect how you choose roles? Is that why you choose to do something like Gulliver’s Travels?

Not really. I know a lot of people do, but I would have done these types of movies whether or not I had kids. I wanted to do Gulliver’s Travels just for fun, for me. This one obviously, I did not do for my kids. I don’t really want them to see me in anything, kids movies or adult movies. It’s too much of a weird head trip to see your dad all big, up on a screen. The next thing you know they’re gonna want acting classes.

What is your next project?

Well the Tenacious D album is released next month and we go a world tour. We’re gonna do all of the U.S. and then Europe. Nothing in Australia or Asia yet.

What about the rumors of a sequel to School of Rock?

Yeah, I’d love to do a school of rock sequel; we’re just trying to figure it out. It just hasn’t come together and we’ve never saw eye to eye on what that story would be, but never say never. At this point, if we did a sequel I think it would have to be about how rock is dead and it’s Dewey’s job to bring rock back to life somehow. I’m also looking forward to getting started on this Charlie Kaufman movie after the Tenacious D tour.