If I was a five year old, I am sure I would be in love with all of today’s animated movies. Not being five years old, I find most of them staggeringly forced and un-entertaining. Given its fair chance, “Cars 2″ lived up to the standard of candy coated boredom.
Invited to take part in a Grand Prix race to prove the founder’s new organic fuel would mean the end of big oil, Lightning McQueen travels overseas with his crew. Mainly to prove he is better and faster than F1 phenom, Francesco Bernouli, McQueen is talked into taking his best friend, Mater, along for the ride. Being the country bumpkin removed from his comfort zone and dropped into a more bustling and advanced society, Mater finds himself getting into plenty of trouble. This includes becoming part of a spy game that begins to prove someone is trying to destroy all the cars at the Grand Prix.
Like all the Pixar films, the animation is of top quality. But there is nothing about it that seems new and fantastic; it is what you expect to see. While “Rango” was another animated film I found to be disappointing, it brought a new level of excellence to the animation side of the game. Topping things off, “Cars 2″ is another 3D projected film, that is not 3D in any way. Nothing ever pops off the screen and the second you think it is about to happen, whatever was roaring toward the screen ends up traveling in the opposite direction.
The script seems to have a come out of an introductory 101 class. Everything is forced and over the top and it relies on trying to come up with “clever” names for characters more than well thought out prose. I just have this imagine in my head of the writers; “Oh and we can call Brent Musbuger, Brent Mustangburger! Ohhhhh man this is gonna be great!” Whether or not I am being overly misanthropic toward the film, the rest of audience didn’t seem to be balled over in laughter. The theater was quite silent for most of the film and I was stone faced the entire time. The only thing I got any joy out of was a voice cameo by Bruce Campbell.
When I was young, there were plenty of people I am sure who said very similar things about “The Duck Tales Movie” that I am saying about “Cars 2.” Still, I was in love with “The Duck Tales Movie” when I was young and I’ll stand by it now. Young children, even if they do not laugh at the film will still enjoy it, because it has lots of pretty colors and talking cars. But the jokes and the story are so porous to have any positive effect on me. Not to mention, the film is filled to the brim with gunfire, missiles, explosions and murders. We all know those are the ingredients for the perfect kids movie.